Review ⎪Glitterwolf: A Letter to My 16 Year Old Self ed. Matt Cresswell

"Dear Me,
It is not easy to write this review. It took me longer than expected. The letters I read in this collection were deeply moving, and as consequence left me thinking too much about a 16 year old dreamer and the lifetimes lived since. Could I ever be brave enough to share myself, my truths, as intimately and bravely as these writers? I don't believe so. But they did. And, now, I can't stop thinking about their honesty, struggles, happiness, and sorrows." Hilcia

Glitterwolf: A Letter To My 16 Year Old Self edited by Matt Cresswell is a collection featuring 33 LGBT authors sending a letter to their sixteen year old selves. The core theme is Identity. The identity theme is strongly carried throughout the collection by contributing authors identifying as gay, bisexual, lesbian, transgender, genderqueer, and one from a married gay man who remains in the closet to this day. The letters’ contents are as diverse as the writers’ identities and experiences.

"I know you're not like the other girls in your class, you never have been, you never will be. That's okay though, it really is, you can live in that in-between world quite happily where you're female but you're not a girl. Not girlie. You don't need to be.

It doesn't matter. None of it. None of the little boxes you're so desperately trying to fit yourself into matter. Not now, not later." Rhian Williams

The collection is 78 pages and the majority of the letters are one to two pages long. Length, however, does not preclude this collection from making a high impact on the reader. All the letters are personal and deeply moving.

"Days that feel dark, days that seem neverendingly hopeless, do end. The sun does rise, whether or not you want it to (and there are days you want both). Accept joy. Accept love. Accept the messiness of existing. Embrace it all. You will never have the chance to do so again once it's gone. Breathe." Victoria Villasenor

The letters range from the optimistic and brilliantly defiant to sad and downright dark in content. There is no getting away from a shared sense of loneliness, isolation, subtle anger, and caring tenderness. There is also hope, whether the focus of that hope is centered on finding love or a successful career shifts with each individual.

I also found it fascinating that there is a secondary, underlying generational theme to this collection since the contributors' ages range from the early 20's to the 60's. The letters are written from the present to the writers’ past selves, and so age, hindsight, and experience must be taken into consideration. Unfortunately, place and society's fluctuating viewpoints are also a factor.

"It is so easy to be queer, where and when you are, or is it me? I don't even remember realizing I was different to my friends or deciding to keep it a secret. It was no problem." Nick Campbell

Campbell's experience seems to be in the minority. The majority of the letters show inner and outer struggles. Older generations and those growing up in small towns seem to have had a tougher time as teenagers struggling with identity issues. Gay poet C.S. Crown's letter is representative of his generation's experiences, however, it stands out for different reasons. Crown is 65 years old, married, and in the closet. This fascinating letter clearly, and without hesitation, outlines a lifetime of decisions.

"[…] the shadows from your closet will call out to you over and over again, and you will dream of the man-you-might-have-been. Look carefully at the shadows; I am one of them. Will you recognize me?" C. S. Crown

Ultimately, the strength of this excellent collection lies in the intimacy with which the contributing writers, as individuals, share pivotal moments while in their journey to embracing identity -- going from the uncertain questioning of the 16 year old, to the knowing, accepting, “Me.” Highly recommended.

"When you are my age, even earlier, you'll find that your name would stand for something that you no longer identify with, your identity as a boy. You are probably saying right now "What are you talking about?" Hello, I was you. I know about how much you felt since you were 5 that you should've been born a girl." Paulina Angel

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Glitterwolf: A Letter to My 16 Year Old Self edited by Matt Cresswell is out now available via all Amazon marketplaces. It has been released on its own, or can also be purchased as part of Issue Eight of Glitterwolf. The Attic Press Website: www. glitterwolf.com

Review: The Unwanted by Jeffrey Ricker

I read The Unwanted by Jeffrey Ricker in two sittings, the pacing and adventure are that good! The story begins in a mythology-based contemporary setting that surprisingly ends in the mythological world with a bang and a surprise.

The three main characters in this book were introduced in the short story "The Trouble with Billy," which first appeared in the Speaking Out: LGBTQ Youth Stand Up anthology. There, we met short, skinny Jamie, the only out gay kid in his high school as he was relentlessly bullied by Billy and defended by best friend Sarah. The Unwanted begins with Billy punching sixteen year-old Jamie on the nose at school, Sarah coming to the rescue, and Jamie going home with a bleeding nose without first asking for permission from school authorities. Poor Jamie is in for a surprise because when he gets there his mother is waiting. The mother that was supposed to be dead.

Jamie's parents have a lot of explaining to do -- one of them is the winged horse hanging out in his backyard! Once everything is explained, Billy and a bleeding nose are the least of Jamie's worries. It turns out that his mother is one of the mythological Amazons. As we know from Greek mythology, Amazons do not keep their male children and Jamie's mother left him to be raised by his father. Now there is big trouble brewing and the Amazons may be wiped out by an angry god. However, they have one chance, the Oracle's prophesy clearly says that a male child will save them. Jamie's mother believes that he may be that boy, and hopes he will go back with her to save her sisters and her home.

This is an adventure full of risks and danger! There is a romance, but there are also fantastic friendships, great magical moments, and dangerous battles filled with deadly villains. I enjoyed all of it. Jamie's personal situation captures the reader, but the slow-building danger and revelations really keep the reader going. I was surprised at how well the pacing works in this novel. It doesn't lag even when there's a lull in the action because there is that expectancy that something is about to happen.

As narrator, Jamie's voice is fantastic. Ricker hits the right young adult tone, so that Jamie comes off angsty, sarcastic, and humorous at the most unexpected of moments even as he deals with very serious situations. He's not a know-at-all or the big muscular hero who can do it all. As a matter of fact, he's small for his age, can't really fight, and doubts his abilities all the time. Young adults can relate to him as a character, including when it comes to his handling of family and friends.

Family issues are definitely on the forefront for Jamie: his father's and his own confused feelings for an absentee mother. Additionally, Billy the bully also becomes a key character in this young adult fantasy/adventure. The development of Billy's character, the issue of trust and the growing relationship with Jamie carries to the end of the story.

I loved The Unwanted. I found it to be both fun and highly relevant with central and secondary characters that young adults can relate to, and will enjoy seeing on the page. Additionally, Ricker takes some overwhelming risks with characters and story at the end that I believe give this read a unique touch. Highly recommended!

Category: LGBT/Gay Young Adult Fantasy
Publisher/Release Date: Bold Strokes Books/March 18, 2014
Source: eARC for review
Grade: A-

Mini-Impressions: Annihilation (Southern Reach Trilogy #1) by Jeff VanderMeer

Area X has been cut off from the rest of the continent for decades. Nature has reclaimed the last vestiges of human civilization. The first expedition returned with reports of a pristine, Edenic landscape; all the members of the second expedition committed suicide; the third expedition died in a hail of gunfire as its members turned on one another; the members of the eleventh expedition returned as shadows of their former selves, and within months of their return, all had died of aggressive cancer.

This is the twelfth expedition.

Their group is made up of four women: an anthropologist; a surveyor; a psychologist, the de facto leader; and our narrator, a biologist. Their mission is to map the terrain and collect specimens; to record all their observations, scientific and otherwise, of their surroundings and of one another; and, above all, to avoid being contaminated by Area X itself.

They arrive expecting the unexpected, and Area X delivers—they discover a massive topographic anomaly and life forms that surpass understanding—but it’s the surprises that came across the border with them, and the secrets the expedition members are keeping from one another, that change everything.

Science fiction? The "new weird"? Speculative fiction horror twisted into the "new weird"? Whatever the label, Jeff VanderMeer hit the spot with this book. The first book in the Southern Reach Trilogy, Annihilation is a great example of a Lovecratian-based, fungi infected (or is it colonized?) piece. With its distant, disconnected narration, heavy atmosphere, tense horror-filled moments, and excellent prose, it is one of the most memorable books I've read this year so far. Yet, the story is not finished. . . this is just the beginning of what promises to be a fantastic trip (read) when fully realized since obviously the overall story arc has a long way to go. Annihilation leaves the reader, at least it left me, haunted as the progression of events occurring in Area X affect the unnamed biologist and her three companions. Highly recommended.

Trilogy:
Annihilation (Southern Reach #1)
Authority (Southern Reach #2) Releasing May 6, 2014
Acceptance (Southern Reach #3) Releasing September, 2014

Review: Welcome Home, Captain Harding (Captain Harding #3) by Elliott Mackle

Joe is back! Welcome Home, Captain Harding! I was really worried about him at the end of Captain Harding and His Men when he was shipped off to Vietnam. I even thought that was going to be the setting for this third book. Instead it is now1970, "Hair" is playing on Broadway and the "Age of Aquarius" still has a grip on the country, particularly on the West Coast -- the perfect setting for Joe's misadventures.

After finishing an 18-month tour in Vietnam, Joe is assigned to the Castle Air Force Base, California, working with old friend and father figure Colonel Bruce "Ops" Opstein, commander for operations for the 39th Bomb Wing. Joe hasn't even shaken the jet lag, nightmares, or fear of crotch rot when Ops shows him a pictures of himself in Hawaii with both Cotton and his mother Ambassador Elizabeth Boardman. Joe is under surveillance. Joe's new assignment at Castle spying on arrogant, hot-dogging bomber pilots, and organizing an air show to counteract the whole anti-war movement does not come as sweet news either. Soon Ops and Joe realize the whole place is FUBAR -- fucked up before all recognition -- as pilots go around with sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll on their minds, and the higher ups turn out to be even worse than that! Joe's career comes under fire from all directions as the men or buddies he works with are more a detriment than a help, and covering his ass to stay in the military closet becomes almost impossible.

There I am, reading the beginning of the story and I'm already yelling at Joe for pulling dumb moves and following his dick instead of thinking things through before leaping into the fire. By now, we all know that's just Joe, but that didn't matter to me. Cotton is now a freshman at Berkeley and slowly getting pulled into the anti-war movement, but they are together and that's what becomes important to Joe. He is in love with the now nineteen-year old Cotton, so you can only imagine that these two are not necessarily thinking with their "little grey cells." No, not possible. Not even after Ops warns Joe that he has received more anonymous photographs. To further complicate matters, Sam shows up at Joe's place in Merced. Now a TWA pilot, he is a favorite buddy/hookup Joe met at the Wheelus AFB in Lybia. Cotton figures out the relationship angle and decides to get involved. Will there be room for one more in a committed relationship?

Let me begin by saying that I don't usually get so involved with characters that I actually worry for them, etc. I try to maintain a certain distance, even when connecting with characters, so that I can at least be somewhat objective about their actions. But, I can't seem to help myself with Joe Harding and I know that is one of the aspects of this series that makes me love it so much.

Elliott Mackle does it to me every time. I began reading Welcome Home, Captain Harding and didn't stop until that last page was turned. It was an emotional roller-coaster. I was yelling at Joe because he wasn't being careful enough, while simultaneously getting upset because he HAD to be careful in order to keep his military career going. But, coming back to reality and keeping in mind that this is historical fiction, Elliott Mackle again captures the times and situations beautifully.

The necessity to stay closeted vs. the need for love and intimacy is one that Mackle tackles in this book with even more vigor than he did in the past two installments. The frustration, the witch hunt, and how far everyone is willing to go to protect themselves are all well rendered by Mackle as he uses humor through misadventures, miscalculations, and manipulations to get his point across. The same happens with Mackle's deft handling of the issues that plagued the Air Force pilots at the base during that time, and with his portrayal of 1970 San Francisco by incorporating the two differing perspectives dealing with the key issue of that time period in history about the war in Vietnam, with the Peace Movement on one side and the military on the other as seen from Joe's point of view.

The military details that Mackle includes in this novel are again fantastic, although I did notice that they took less space than in the two previous installments. Similarly, those pesky military acronyms have lessened, or are now explained to the reader along the way. Mackle continues the tradition of combining Joe's often humorous misadventures with seriously tough issues such as domestic violence among the military, drug abuse, cover ups, and persecution of gay servicemen in the military. The usually tight dialog is not as consistently tight as it is in other installments, but it is still great, providing that quick pacing that makes these books such excellent reads.

Welcome Home, Captain Harding is the third and last book of Elliott Mackle's Captain Harding trilogy. As such, it ends Joe's adventures and misadventures with a bang. I didn't, however, expect anything less from Mr. Mackle whose works I've come to highly enjoy along the way. I cannot tell you how much I love these three books, or how much I am going to miss this character. I am a fan. I definitely recommend Welcome Home, Captain Harding, but more so, I highly recommend the trilogy as a whole.

Category: LGBT Historical Fiction/Mystery Suspense
Series: Captain Harding
Publisher/Release Date: Lethe Press/September 1, 2013
Format: Paperback/Digital
Grade: B+

Visit Elliott Mackle here.

Complete Trilogy -- Grade: A- (4.7 Stars) 
Captain Harding's Six Day War, #1
Captain Harding and His Men, #2
Welcome Home, Captain Harding, #3

TBR Review: The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey

The theme for this month's TBR Challenge is "all about the hype."  The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey is a best seller, and in certain reading circles this book definitely qualifies under that theme. It has been in my own "to be read pile" since March. Does it live up to the hype? Let's see.

The Snow Child

Alaska, 1920: a brutal place to homestead, and especially tough for recent arrivals Jack and Mabel. Childless, they are drifting apart—he breaking under the weight of the work of the farm; she crumbling from loneliness and despair. In a moment of levity during the season’s first snowfall, they build a child out of snow. The next morning the snow child is gone—but they glimpse a young, blond-haired girl running through the trees.

This little girl, who calls herself Faina, seems to be a child of the woods. She hunts with a red fox at her side, skims lightly across the snow, and somehow survives alone in the Alaskan wilderness. As Jack and Mabel struggle to understand this child who could have stepped from the pages of a fairy tale, they come to love her as their own daughter. But in this beautiful, violent place things are rarely as they appear, and what they eventually learn about Faina will transform all of them.

Definition (Wiki): Magic realism or magical realism is an aesthetic style or genre of fiction in which magical elements blend with the real world. The story explains these magical elements as real occurrences, presented in a straightforward manner that places the "real" and the "fantastic" in the same stream of thought.

The Snow Child is a realistic portrayal of the rough and often violent life as it was in Alaska in the 1920's, combined with a magical fairy tale. I wanted to know what the hoopla was all about, and found that what makes this book so special, besides the beautiful prose, lies in how well Ivey brings the magic of a fairy tale into the realm of the possible and the beauty and harsh realities of 1920's Alaskan rural life become magical until together they become a possible magical reality to the reader. Magical realism? Absolutely.

"Wife, let us go into the yard behind and make a little snow girl; and perhaps she will come alive, and be a little daughter to us."

"Husband," says the wold woman, "there's no knowing what may be. Let us go into the yard and make a little snow girl." --- Little Daughter of the Snow by Arthur Ransome

Jack and Mabel moved to Alaska to start over almost ten years after Mabel lost her baby during childbirth. Jack is breaking under the brutality of working an Alaskan farm alone and thinks himself too old to start over. Mabel is dying of loneliness and depression to the point of becoming suicidal, but having drifted apart she doesn't tell Jack, and of course Jack doesn't share his concerns with Mabel.

It is after a fun, light visit to neighbors George, Esther and their sons that during the first snowfall Mabel and Jack playfully build a little girl out of snow in their front yard and spend an evening together. Next day, for the first time both see a little girl running through the woods wearing the mittens and scarf previously worn by their snow girl. A game of hide and seek ensues, but the little girl, who always seems to be accompanied by a red fox, is so quick that neither Jack nor Mabel can catch her. 

Eventually, the child decides to become a part of Jack and Mabel's life, on her own terms. She comes and she goes, the woods always a part of their life... until summer arrives, when the child disappears and everything seems to go wrong. There are desperate, dark moments as Jack and Mabel work and almost give up on the farm and each other. Thankfully, George, Esther and their son Garrett are there to help whether they want it or not! But when winter returns, will the child return with it?

Through this first part of the novel, Ivey sets the atmosphere for the story by using the beauty and danger that nature in a barely explored Alaska presents. Ivey incorporates nature into the story by making the snow girl part of it, and through her both Jack and Mabel come to appreciate and respect its bounty, beauty and danger. Through Jack's experiences with the child, Ivey brings to the reader moments that are both wondrous and hard to explain combined with a stark reality to the little girl's seemingly magical existence, firmly placing this novel into the realm of magical realism. 

The second part of the book is one of the most heart wrenching of the story, yet one of the best!  Mabel and Jack finally confront much of their past. I love the way the balance teeters and shifts between the main characters -- Mabel, Jack, and Faina. Secondary characters also gain depth in this section. Esther!! I love her down-to-earth, loud and take-over personality. The contrast between Esther and Mabel is sharp -- where Mabel's flights of fancy take the reader into the world of fairy tales and magic, Esther serves to ground the reader to reality. At this point, her youngest son Garrett is groomed as an important character as he plays the role of teacher to Jack and Mabel and soaks up the respect and singular attention focused on him by these two lonely people.

As she gazed upon him, love... filled every fiber of her being, and she knew that this was the emotion that she had been warned against by the Spirit of the Wood. Great tears welled up in her eyes --- and suddenly she began to melt. "Snegurochka," translated by Lucy Maxym

Ivey uses a Russian fairy tale as the base for her story, and as in all fairy tales there is magic and in this one love, but also as in all fairy tales there is a dark side. I think it is best said by Ada, Mabel's sister, in one of her lovely letters, " Why these stories for children always have to turn out so dreadfully is beyond me. I think if I ever tell it to my grandchildren, I will change the ending and have everyone live happily ever after. We are allowed to do that, are we not Mabel? To invent our own endings and choose joy over sorrow?" The sorrow is expected, yes? Ohhh, but there is also joy and happiness in this story!

The Snow Child is Eowyn Ivey's debut novel, and an excellent debut it is! It is a tale of contrasts where the renewal of the human spirit is brought about by nature's glorious beauty and stark brutality, by believing in love given and accepted freely with all those harsh realities that just make the magic so much more powerful. I recommend it to lovers of fairy tales, nature, magical realism, fans of Alice Hoffman, and to those who just love a gorgeous story with beautiful prose and unforgettable characters.

Theme: All About the Hype
November

Category: Historical Fantasy Fiction
Series: None
Publisher/Release Date: Reagan Arthur Books/ February 1, 2012
Grade: A-

Visit Eowyn Ivey here.

NOTE: This was a wonderful book to read right before the Thanksgiving holiday!

This n' That: Catching Up + Nora Roberts, Laura Lee Guhrke

Has it been almost a week since I last posted? It has! There is so much going on. Post-Sandy, I'm back at work but our offices are not 100% yet. My boss lost her home and much more than that, so she's gone for now. Additionally, New Jersey's Courts in the north of the State are still closed or just now beginning to open -- at this point I'm basically catching up on a little paperwork and getting ready for the avalanche of work once everything reopens.

But there are other reasons! On the bright side, our family welcomed a new addition, my middle brother's third daughter. Natalia A. J. arrived on November 3rd and weighed 8.5 lbs. She arrived just in time to bring happiness and much needed brightness to all of us! I'm a tia again!

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Born In Trilogy

What about reading? Well, during the hurricane I was unable to read new books, so I picked up an old favorite comfort re-read, the Born In Trilogy (1994 to 1996) by Nora Roberts (Born in Fire, Born in Ice, Born in Shame). Why do I love this trilogy? Well, Roberts has a way with her depiction of those small little rural places in Ireland. In this case it's County Clare with its farming land, the village, pub, and all the requisite places: castle ruins, cliffs, and the sea. But of course Roberts' characters, from the protagonists to the villagers, are the main attraction. There is spitfire Maggie and her jackeen Rogan, cool-as-a-cucumber Brie and her charming Yank Grayson, and of course beautiful-oh-my-god-I-have-a-crush-on-him Murphy Muldoon and clueless-somebody-smack-her Shannon. I've read and re-read this trilogy countless times and know these books like the back of my hand. I still love them!

My favorite hands down? Although Born in Fire IS fiery and Born in Shame has my favorite Irish hunk Murphy Muldoon as its hero, for me Born in Ice is the most romantic of the three books and the one I read slowwwly this time around. It took me forever to finish it because I wanted to savor every word. Have you read this trilogy by Nora Roberts? It's a classic and it is still my #1 favorite trilogy by this author.

Conor's Way

I also read Conor's Way by Laura Lee Guhrke. I loved, loved this historical romance! Truthfully? I enjoyed this book from beginning to end. I looked at this book critically (as a reviewer), and if you review books, you know there are always flaws to find or nit picking to do. But, sigh... as a reader, there just was not one aspect of this book that I did not enjoy! From Conor and Olivia as our main romantic couple, to Olivia's three little girls who play their roles as secondary characters to perfection, the characters are fantastic. I love the mixed setting -- the small town in post-revolutionary American South in the present, and a famine-plagued/post-famine Ireland full of revolutionary Fenians in Conor's past. This was an emotionally wrenching story with a tortured hero, but it was also sweet, sweet, sweet, with a great strong spinster heroine and three little girls that will win your heart. Lovely!

This week I also picked up and finished Velvet by Xavier Axelson. A gay historical romance, this is Axelson's first full-length novel. I will be reviewing it soon.

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Last, but not least, today is National Election Day in the U.S., it comes every four years and doesn't take too much of our personal time. So, please don't forget to vote!